Attack of the Killer Church People

Kelly and I were walking home late one night when a man and woman said hello (in Korean) and blocked us from walking any further. I figured they were church recruiters and/or trying to sell something and I was prepared to walk around them, but they had already cornered Kelly and began speaking to her before we could both escape.

Using the man's cell phone as a flashlight, they made Kelly read from some book about baptizing and other religious ramblings. After about 15 minutes of Kelly being forced to read, they tried to get us to follow them to a church. I kindly said, "We have already been baptized. It's 10:30pm and we are going to bed." It took about ten times of us repeating this before we finally escaped their clutches.

We ran to our building and as our elevator door closed, we saw the same two people looking through the glass entry door of our building. Just like in zombie movies, we knew that they were temporarily blocked by the locked door, but would eventually make it inside. In my quick thinking I pushed a different floor number, knowing that they would be able to see what floor the elevator stopped on through the glass door. We got off the elevator two floors above our floor and ran down the stairs as quickly as possible. We locked our door, left the lights off, and as quietly as possible, went to sleep.

A few days later, just as our fears were begining to subside, there was a knock at our apartment door. "It was 11:00 at night, who could that be?" It was the church people!!! Kelly kept the door open a crack, and tried unsuccessfully to explain that we were not interested. I don't know exactly how they found our apartment number (there are many westerners in our building) but they found us. Now they come all the time, knocking like crazy until we finally open the door. They don't know English and my incessant repeating of "aniyo, aniyo" (no, no) has done little to deflate their confidence. They are determined to convert us to whatever cult they are a part of.

If Kelly or I are brutally murdered, please suspect these people first.